Unlearning
It's late/ early so I won't write much, but I was thinking about how so many problems people deal with come from misinformation they learned during development. People that have low self esteem LEARNED those ideas. People that have poor work ethic LEARNED that behavior. People who have violent tempers LEARNED this expression of emotion... Wouldn't it be fabulous if therapist could actually help us UN-learn those things. I, myself, am aware of a lot of ideas and behaviors I learned growing up that are now hindrances. And I'd happily learn over those thoughts if I could just re-write on my brain, like you can do with floppy disks- you know, simply erase the old patterns and save the new ones in my memory so that that was what I recalled next time I was looking for ... But, unfortunately, it's far FAR more difficult to UN-learn things, especially as an adult, after we've built up such strong neural connections. But what if... Just what if we could USE intense learning style theory to RETEACH those things that we didn't get right the first time??? I wonder if somehow it would make the process easier or more effective if it were presented in a way that our minds could process the information- tailored specifically to our minds needs. I wonder... That would be neat!
Oh, one other thing, If we didn't set out to make others happy, but just went about our lives, accepting that they would feel what they felt and all we should do is our best... I wonder if that would cause relationships to be less stressful. I know that in my past relationships, so many of them failed because they wanted to make me better or happy, and that's really impossible. My brain's chemistry has far more say over what I feel and when, and when nothing they did could change my brain chemistry there was frustration and arguments, but what if they had just recognized that they could only do their best and then let the rest be as it would be??? Would that have at least made it all less angry or agonizing.
I was asked if there was any sign of my condition (BiPolar Disorder) when I was little, and the funny thing is that I guess I don't really know for sure. I know that those around me always said what a happy child I was, and how aptly I was named... but then I have memories of wanting to hide away from the rest of the world too. It was like a swing, I suppose, that starts out slowly rocking back and forth and then gradually moves into a tall parabola. It's really hard to know for sure though because I have no empirical evidence. I have always had this habit of journaling erratically. Sometimes, days in a row, and sometimes I wouldn't write for months at a time, and then it would usually be when I was in a strong swing. I have very few entries where I in an objective mind frame. My "associate" thinks if I journaled every day it would help me get a better idea of what my experience is. I know he's right, but it's so hard to UN-learn the pattern I've set... I'll try though, it's just gonna take a little time, I'm sure.
