In Flux

I wonder if there's any actual rhythm to the chaos. Supposedly, if I charted it all out, the patterns would emerge, but somehow I doubt it. Am I a cynic? Maybe it's true, and I'm just too close to see the sense of it all. My mentor says to me "one day you'll just wake up and be sick and tired of being sick and tired", I'm there. So what happens next?
I want a break from this whole mess. Graduation is just around the corner, and that is supposed to give me some reprieve, but it's really just a transition from one hectic situation to the next. Isn't it? I suppose, if I were "normal", it would be a shift into a stable life, with a steady job, and a regular life... but is that really a possibility for someone who experiences the world in black AND white alternatively?
I really appreciate the individuals who bare with me through these times... I can only imagine how exhausting it is from their side of the coin. And why anyone would get on this roller coaster by choice is beyond my understanding. But I'm grateful beyond words for the patience and care that I'm given. I don't know how I'd make it, if it weren't for those people.
And now I have to get to work on a project due at 2.