curiousity kills the cat

To know there is something wrong, but have to wait to find out is torture... Ignorance really is bliss... but who wants to be ignorant? I sure don't. I want to be aware, so I can help, so I can be a part of the solutions- regardless of whether I am part of the problem or not... I feel so helpless on so many levels... Oh to be different... I am different... I am smart, I am aware, I am powerful, I am in control of my own life and the effects I have on others... Why does this feel like mockery to write such things? Because I don't know what to do?!