Like Water

Like water Well, I figured it was about time for an update...
So here it goes

Since I have been back in Los Angeles I haven't gotten a lot done, or so it might appear. But the truth of the matter is that I have come a long way on my path of healing. Having Bipolar disorder certainly has disrupted my life, but I've spent the last 8 1/2 months practicing managing it. Reading books that have helped me to be more positive in those times when I used to fall back on harmful thoughts or behaviors. Also associating with people that have a more clear perspective on feelings and emotions (namely Brad and Leilani- thank you guys) has helped me a lot.

I got re-involved in SCA activities, including practicing archery from time to time (though not enough to be any good), I sew on a pretty regular basis, and go to the library a LOT! I love books!

In late July- early August I started thinking I was ready to hop back on the horse again and move ahead with my Credentialing. I began the frantic application process, trying to beat the August 29th deadline... and I nearly did it. Everything was in except my Certificate of Clearance... and if I had read the FAQ, I'd have known it takes 4 months for the FBI to clear people... *sigh*
So the bad news is that starting the program this fall didn't work out, but the good news (always look on the bright side of life) is that come Spring semester, I am good to go.

Working hasn't really been an option up till recently. It may sound stupid to anybody that isn't clear on what I go through, but I haven't been up to it, as much as I wanted to be. I applied for a job a friend set up, but after two days of driving home and wanting to drive into traffic, I decided I might not survive that situation. I applied for a bunch of TA jobs but learned they only hire current students. (LAME!) Anyway, since more often than not, it's who, not what, you know, I decided I will see if I can work with Raleigh again... not in Hollywood, but Manhattan Beach or Corporate would be good... something I can do at least waiting for January, maybe even to carry me through until next fall, when I hope to be teaching as an intern...

I decided that I don't care what age I teach- so long as I am in a classroom... so since there is a need for Secondary Science Teachers and I like science, that is a perfectly valid option. Of course that means that instead of only having to pass the 1/3 of the Multiple Subjects CSET, i have to take all 3 Single Subject Science CSET tests... $70 each plus the time to review... or rather learn chemistry and physics... anybody with helpful suggestions, don't hesitate to put them out there.

Oh, I'm still in Culver City for now... I think I will try to find a place in Long Beach come January... it's closer to CSU Dominguez Hills.
Oh yeah, and my poor car is shot AGAIN! This time it's a bunch of small things and one big one, with a sum cost estimate of $500... I can't do it, so my car has been stationery for over three months... *sigh*

When it rains, it pours, but only the rain can bring the flowers, right?

I am thinking it's time to let go of it... after all the Blue Book value for it is about the same as the cost of the repairs... plus it would force me into being more green- which I do want, just been hesitant since it's new and therefore scary to change. It would also be a HUGE money saver, since I would only pay $70 a month for a bus pass that covers most of LA county, as opposed to paying for gas constantly, insurance monthly, and registration yearly... Man! When you are young, you just don't get HOW expensive it is to have a car (at least I didn't)

Let's see what else? Ummmm... no cell phone at the moment :( I'll let y'all know when that changes, but for now, e-mail is the best way to contact me. If you don't have my e-mail, message me yours and I'll get back to you. :) wouldn't want to post it, or who knows what new spam I'd get.

I also want to say that I miss my friends from Humboldt dearly. Each and everyone of them added a special something to my life, and I don't know how many, if any of them knew it. I wasn't very good at reaching out (still not), so I just don't know if they realize my appreciation for them... so

Thanks guys

It's tough being out of school because you aren't 'forced' to see your friends... I mean, in the 'real world' it has to be a very decided event to get together, due to everyone's busy schedules, and living distances, etc. I have a few friends down here, but LA is so big, we're spread out quite a bit, and/ or schedules are really hard to match up for time to hang out... :( It's not like the good ol' days of meandering into a dining place, to sit down next to any number of friends and chat until a next class or whatever. It was so much easier. Maybe when teleportation is an option it will be like that again...

What else? What else? Ah! I participated in a UCLA study on Bipolar. That was a good experience. I'm glad I did it, and I hope to get to be a part of more studies down the line. I'm also making use of county mental health's facilities... kinda annoying with all the bureaucracy, but it will give me free meds- and that IS more important than the inconvenience. So they have some cool groups that I'll be starting. Today there is an Art group. It should be fun... they supply the stuff, and I supply the ideas. The nice thing is that if I hate it... I don't have to go- but why would I hate it? It's ART! :)

Ok- I think that's it for now... please feel free to comment or message...

Peace and Love